Totally Tangent!
by Ocean Krystal
Summary: Pushed by the goverment and GUN, Sonic is forced to teach a villain about... nice! Oh my GAWD! Who will he choose? And just why in the world would he select this skunkbag? Will Sonic turn this villain into a hero before he can give him mental problems? So many questions! Read and Review, please! :D


**Aww, I miss Fanfiction... Oh, well, after a year I am back. :D  
August 26... it's my granfather's birthday... or it _could_ have been, if he were still alive. First off, I want to thank the people that supported my first story even after I haven't written a new chapter. You are all very nice. Your sincere reviews were all very comforting.  
This also happens to be my last day of Summer, so I had to do something special.  
**

**This little idea came out of_ nowhere_, let's just hope it ends _somewhere_.**

**Since no one has ever done this(or at least, not that I_ know_ of) I figured it would be fun to write. It's a little off, but not really...**

**Enjoy... **

* * *

Sonic walked carefully through the halls of the prison cells, each villain gave him a dirty look upon noticing him. One even stuck out the bad finger at him.

As he made it to the end of the hallway, he found a small office-like room. It had a buissness desk, two chairs in front, and a lightbulb hanging from the ceiling. Other than that, there was yet another chair, this time at the opposite side from the other too and had someone sitting on it.

Sonic took a seat silently on one of the two sorry-looking chairs and waited for an explanation.

"So..." the commander said, as he turned his spinning chair to face Sonic," I see you decided to come..."

"Of course," Sonic replied, crossing his arms," the goverment DID forced me to come here."

"Do you know why?" the Commander asked.

"No idea."

"Son, as you can see, there's been a lot of bad influence going on in the country lately," he started," underage children throwing rocks at the president's house, teenegers sticking out the bad finger at policemen, weird alien invasions, evil genies and knights getting out children's books, retarted-robotic pirates trying to act cool, time-eating monsters, evil Sun god's rage disorting time and egg-shaped men with fake mustaches trying to take over the world, to name a few."

"I see..." Sonic said, rubbing his chin unproffesionally," but what do you want me to do? They're ALREADY in jail, it's not really my responsability now... in fact, it never was!"

"Indeed, but you're the only good citizen the president can leave this special task to," the Commander replied.

"But why not leave it to Shadow or Rouge? They work here, ya know!"

"'Cuz Rouge is a thief and Shadow is weird."

"Well, that's true," Sonic agreed," so what's the task, eh?"

"Sonic," the commander explained," we were hoping that your kindness would rub-off on these skunkbags, we want you to teach one of the villains here at the Westopolis Prison about... Nice."

"WHAT!"

Sonic fell off his chair. Defeating a bad guy is one thing, but teaching it how to be nice is another.

"You've got to be kidding me!" he expressed wildy.

"Sonic, please, just imagine how fun it could be..." the Commander forced himself to say.

_Fun? **FUN?**_

* * *

_Sonic's imagination..._

Sonic stood in front of a white board, he began to write the word 'kindness' on it.

"Okay, delinquents, the word of the day is kindness," Sonic said(sounding somewhat as a professor), holding up a ruler and pointing to the word," what does it mean to ya'll?"

"Poop!" Eggman shouted.

"YEAH!" His dimmensional counterpart, Nega agreed.

The rest of the room was a disaster. Some of the villains Sonic previously defeated were throwing desks at each other, as if they were gonna win anything by doing so...

The Black Knight was showing-off his lame new sword to Mephiles, who simply ignored him by reading a Twilight book. Metal Sonic was giving Johnny a wedgie, and Iblis was barking at Time Eater, who was eating pencils instead of time...

"Come on, calm down, children!" Sonic said.

"Hey, I know!" Yelled Erazor Djin, holding up his purple fist," let's throw him ROCKS!"

"W-whaat? Noo!" Sonic yelled nervously.

"YEAH!" the rest of the villains cheered and threw rocks at the blue hedgehog.

"NOOO!"

* * *

Sonic laid pathetically on the floor with his eyes closed, trapped in his own messed-up imagination giving off powerful, mighty kicks into thin air.

"Well, this is disturbing..." the Commander muttered, looking at the blue hedgehog acting like a baby.

* * *

But what our spiky hero (and possibly the Commander himself) didn't knew, was that right next the Commander's office laid the prison cell that held captive the most evil of villains, the twisted mastermind, the most rottenest of them all... _Yes, that's right!_

Dr. Eggman!

"Ho ho ho!" Eggman laughted evily."That's it! I have a plan!"

Eggman Nega, the doctor's roomate(or rather 'cell mate', I guess) sighted in despair.

"You mean another pathetic attempt to get out of here, create Eggmanland, destroy Sonic and rule the world?" He said in a rather bored tone, obviously aware of everything the doctor could possibly think of.

"No! Well, yes... but this time it's brilliant!" Eggman claimed and continued doing his Santa Claus laugh.

"_You say that every time_..." Nega pointed out politely.

"I know," Eggman admitted,"but this time it _CAN'T _fail!"

Oh doctor...

Eggman Nega groaned. Now more than ever, he wonder why he had to join sides with his "dimmensional self"(I just refer that as a counterpart) and follow him. He could have just stayed in his own world, stealing the Sol Emerlds and making princess Blaze's life impossible. That totally seemed as the funnest thing to do right now for our Nega.

_I could have destroyed the world by now, why did a lisened to him? _Nega thought miserbly. He looked at Eggman, who just wouldn't stop smiling and laughing, and then at the wall with written attempts to get out. _Why can't he just give up and live those years he owes justice in jail like any other normal, old, boring crimminal?_

Something that one should point out about now is that each villain inside the Westopolis prison had its own unique cell. Well, someone should also point out that by every villain, it means every bad guy except the Eggmans.

Why?

Well, once you get to know the doctor, you realize he's gonna get out one way or another... so, there's no point, really, on wasting money on expensive materials that are going to go to waste anyway...

So, Doctor Ivo Robotnik had it easy this time.  
As for the rest of the 'bad guys'...

"Hey, Black Knight, how about a game of '_Uno_'?" the genie suggested to his roommate, holding up a deck of cards.

"Stop calling me that! I am King Arthur, ruler of all England!" the knight in black armor defended his title.

Erazor's and "the Ruler of all England's" cell was located just across the two egghead's.  
Their cell had no bars, but a see-through screen to watch their every move. Since they are both characters from books, the Commander paid a British witch to cast an 'anti-magic' spell on the cell. That was for Erazor. As for the Black Knight... they took away his sword but let him keep his armor since he wouln't stop crying for it and the Commander decided it shouldn't make anyone any harm(except maybe Erazor in case of a prison fight, but not like he cared or anything).

Does prison changes people? _Well, let's find out..._

_"Ruler of all England, huh?" _Erazor teased,"well, isin't it just sad that a blue rat, 2 and a half feet shorter than you, managed to retrieve the sword from the stone_ AND_ claim your _NAME_!"

"Whoa, hold on there a second!" the once King Arthur snapped angrily,"don't act as if YOU weren't clovered by the blue one!"

This seemed to have angered Erazor, as he threw the deck of _Uno_ cards on the floor and flipped the small game table.

"What did you say!"

The Black Knight sank in his armor.

After that, you can pretty much predict a fight between the two. This seemed specially amusing to a certain robot pirate...

"Ha! Look at that, they hadn't fought in nearly a week!" Johnny said to his roommate, who other than the fact that he wasn't lisening to Johnny, he also didn't like him.

"Ah-huh." His roommates' (beautiful, should I add?)lime green eyes not leaving the pages on the thick cover book.

"It's funny because you don't even know what they're arguing about!" Johnny chuckled,"their cell is soundproof from the outside-!"

"Stop talking to me."

Johnny frowned. He's been stuck with his roommate for over 5 years, and yet not a single word to let him know "I guess you're okay, I could totally be here with you for another decade and not loose my mind."

"Dude, come on, like this, we'll _never_ get along!" Johnny raised him voice to make a point this time.

"I'm not planning to."The cold one's calm voice replied.

"Fine! I'll just talk to someone who cares!" Johnny shouted.

"Good luck finding someone."

"Ahh, Johnny! You crazy sea critter!" a voice coming next to Johnny's cell called.

"Captain Whiskers! Thank Neptune, I was so bored with no one to talk to!" The robot shark said in relief.

"What 'bout er friend there, uh-"

"Mephiles." the Sun God finished for him.

"Nah, he dislikes me."

"I don't dislike you, I _hate_ you. Get it through your metal head." Mephiles said roughly, yet emotionless.

It was a tragic enough for Mephiles to have lost to Shadow and have his plans foiled, but placing him with the biggest nuisence in Sonic Rush Adventure next to Marine? It was too far.

Why is Captain Whiskers and Johnny in Sonic's world in the first place? Well, let's just say that people in Blaze's world disagreed with keeping them there since technicaly they_ ARE_ Eggman robots...  
Needless to say, they were forced to be brought here.

But believe me folks, Mephiles is defiantly not the only villain suffering in this prison. Metal Sonic has to stand being in the same room with Captain Whiskers and not strangling him. Poor unfourtunate robot.

"So, it's settled?" the Commander questioned the blue blur, as he scorted him out of his office.

"Yeah, I guess I could teach someone here a thing or two." Sonic smiled and gave the Commander a promising thumbs up.

"Make me proud, son." the Commander soluted.

* * *

_Lunch-time... VILLAIN STYLE!_

Perhaps 'wild' may be an overrated word to use to describe this scene, as most villains knew better than to claim themselves kings of the lunch room. There were no GUN soldiers around, or at least, it_ looked_ as if there weren't any.

Eggman picked up his plate of disgusting looking grub and sat in a nearby table as Nega followed.

After a few minutes of looking natural among the other brutes who kept yelling just plain wrong stuff to each other, the Eggheads looked at each other and exchanged nods.

So, Eggman placed his plate down and stood up on top of the lunch table!

"My fellow victims of this most undelightful fate," Eggman waved his hands in the air to attract attention,"I have the most_ wonderful_ news for you!"

"No one cares!" the rude djin, Erazor, shouted.

"Indeed! Get down from there, you fool!" the dark and evil Black Doom agreed.

"What could your _'wonderful news' _possibly bring us?" said the Black Knight, with a hand covering his new black eye.

"...Freedom." Eggman finished.

The rest of the room fell silent.

Eggman smiled in amusement as he saw the desperation in their eyes.

* * *

**Oh yes, gotta love the villains. ^^  
So, in case for some odd reason you don't KNOW every bad guy mentioned, I'll tell you where they're from and just who are they.**

**Dr. Eggman(Sonic 1991)-_It'll be plain sad if you still don't know him..._  
Eggman Nega(Sonic Rush)-_the doctor's dimmensional couterpart[or could be his future desendant, depends on which game you're asking]. Maners first, insanity and evil later!_  
Metal Sonic(Sonic CD)-_An evil robot created by Eggman who hasen't really obeyed his master's orders lately... often claims to be the 'true' Sonic._  
The Black Knight(Sonic and the _Black Knight_)-_Name says it all._  
Erazor Djin(Sonic and the Secret Rings)-_a genie from the Arabian Nights, became tired of granting wishes and went... insane, I guess?_  
Iblis(Sonic 2006)-_The raw power of the Sun God, Solaris. Don't know what I'm talking about? Might want to look it up._  
Mephiles the Dark(Sonic 2006)-_Smart and manipulative, better know as the 'mouthless freak who killed Sonic'. He has earned fairly enough respect from me to call him one of my favorite Sonic bad guys.  
_Captain Whiskers(Sonic Rush Adventures)-_ANOTHER Eggman robot, except this one's a self-claimed pirate_.  
Johnny(Sonic Rush Adventues)-_A cocky robotic shark who claims to be the fastest thing on water. Sonic beated him, though. Irony.  
_Black Doom(Shadow the Hedgehog)-_Leader of the Black Arms, and also happens to be Shadow's alien daddy. ;)  
_Time Eater(Sonic Generations)-_Time eating monster awoken by the doctor._**

**Dang that's a long Author's Note. Well, anyway, review this chapter if you liked it, or if you're a 'Sonic Fan 4Eva!'. _OR_ even_ BETTER_:  
Both:) **


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